“Emily, what are you doing home?” Jesse swung his large, blond head around the corner, wrapping one hand of fingers against the wall. I turned the corner and the rest of the picture filled in. He held a vacuum cleaner his right hand, but the rest of his body was.. “JESSE PUT SOME CLOTHES ON” I yelled. Jesse, who had apparently forgotten that he was talking to me, was now standing and smiling, humming strange noises and caught in some autistic paradise of mental obsession.
“What?” he looked at me, with wide eyes, mirroring back my surprise.
“PUT SOME CLOTHES ON BEFORE YOU VACUUM” I said.
“OH NO, I CAN”T!!! Chris said I needed to vacuum the cat sand up in the bathroom before I take my shower. I have to do what Chris said. I’m gonna listen to Chris. Gonna listen to Chris. I’m gonna listen to Chris now.” He repeated, as though he were coaching himself.
“Jesse” I said, more calmly. “She didn’t mean you had to literally vacuum immediately before taking your shower. You could keep your clothes on, vacuum, and then get ready for your shower. Please put something on now.”
“Can I wear my snuggie?” he asked. Not being entirely sure what a snuggie was, but assuming it was some article of clothing I agreed, then I went into the office to work on my computer.
I heard the vacuum going, then it shut off. Jesse came flying into the room, wearing what looked like a long flowing blue robe which came up high on his neck and hung long in the arms, covering half of his hands. With his 6 foot 4′ frame, scruffy chin, and wavy ear-length blond hair, the robe made him look like a clergyman or a painting of one of the 12 disciples of Jesus.
“LIFE IS JUST A SERIES OF ADJUSTMENTS” he stated. I looked up at him, surprised by his profound philosophy.
“What?” I questioned.
“LIFE IS JUST A SERIES OF ADJUSTMENTS” he repeated, then continued, “I THINK THEREFORE I AM. WATER WATER EVERYWHERE BUT NOT A DROP TO DRINK” He boomed.
“Jesse, where did you hear that stuff” I broke into a laugh. “From George Ferrata in Winona. George died from eating too much fatty food.” Jesse said, matter of fact, then he turned around and glided back into the bathroom, unmindful of the fact that his backside was completely bare.
Today I came home to find a fully clothed Jesse. I had been working at the farmers market, helping Bonnie Dehn (Minnesota’s herb lady) do a pesto demo. She gave me some pesto with fresh garlic to take home, and I had eaten quite a bit of it for lunch. “Hi Jesse” I said.
“Emily, come in here I want to show you what I did.” I followed him into his room. He had marshmallows sitting on his bookshelves, with toothpicks in them and gumdrops stuck to the toothpicks.
“They’re water molecules!” He said, proudly.
“Jesse, I think you have a few too many hydrogen’s on this one” I said, holding up a marshmallow with 4 toothpicks sticking out. He held his hand over his nose, and looked uncomfortably at me.
“Geez, that’s some breath Emily. I think your breath stinks” He sounded apologetic. “You want some gum?” he asked.
“Sure Jesse, thanks” I said, laughing. This is when I decided to make a parsley salad, because parsley is supposed to get rid of bad breath.
It’s fun having Jesse around.
Breath Freshener Tabouli
2 cups cooked bulgar
3 cups parsley
1 cup cherry tomatoes, diced
1/2 cup sun dried tomatoes in oil, diced
1/4 cup oil that the sun dried tomatoes was in
salt and pepper to taste.
Christina’s vote: “This salad made me think I should eat sun-dried tomatoes every day”